If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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