The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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