I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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