i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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