Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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