Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize