So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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