Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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