TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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