One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize