Say something about gay babies.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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