im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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