Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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