I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize