Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize