You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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