that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize