peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize