Just fell off a train. Bad.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
barbara walters just said penis...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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