honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
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I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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