If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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