You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize