My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just high enough for therapy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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