she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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