i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
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making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
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this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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