i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize