party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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