If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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