Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize