He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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