dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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