On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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