I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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