Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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