Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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