Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize