I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize