If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize