I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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