The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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