Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize