hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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