I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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