My pussy is not your playground.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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