Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize