Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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