the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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