How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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