btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize