yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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